DIARIES...........................Why?

DIARIES

I know you’re probably wondering why I’m going to write about diaries. Considering that I’ve watched countless teenage movies and read countless novels, at least I know a thing or two about the use of diaries. The thing is it depends on who is using the diary and what for. Let me elaborate on this.

A man or gentleman uses a diary for something different and a lady uses the diary for something different too. It’s on rare occasions that you find both the male and female using the diary for the same thing. A man uses a diary for writing down his schedule like who is he going to visit the next day or what time he is supposed to be in meeting, or what he needs to buy on his way back. Or even write down how he is going to pay the people who have done some work for him at a certain point or what happened sometime in the past, like how he forgot his wife’s birthday or even their anniversary. Like my dad, he keeps a notebook to remind him of what he is supposed to do on a certain date, be it paying someone or just making a call. A lady on the other hand can keep a diary for all sorts of reasons, be it emotional, social or even just work related. A diary is very important to both ladies and gentlemen, doesn’t matter for what reason they are keeping them. Well, I’m not here to write about the differences  in reasons as to why men and women keep diaries. My main focus here is to write about why teenage girls keep diaries, doesn’t matter what race, they all have the same reasons. They may write in their diaries using a different approach but when you get to the root of it, it’s the same thing, they use them for emotional reasons.

A big number of teenage girls like keeping diaries and most of them do this because they have secrets to hide and most of the time they think that if they talk to their parents about something they’ve done, the parent won’t understand them well, so they opt for the easiest route and that’s writing it down and hidden somewhere where they know a parent won’t reach it. Most of the things they write are about the new boy that joined the class, or how this guy looked their way even if it was for a split second, or how this popular kid in school was all dressed and what kind of shoes they want on their next birthday or handbag. They even write about their parents. It’s not that they write something bad about the parent, it’s just that they are looking for the parent’s attention. Most of the time, they hide what they are really feeling from their parents because they are not sure of the parents’ reaction. It’s how they cope with their emotions at that age, when they think that everything and everyone around them is against them. For example, when a girl was teased by a popular student in school because of what she is wearing, she will feel inferior and really ashamed. When she goes and tells the mother about it, the mother will see it as a minor thing and she will tell her teenage daughter not to worry because she looks beautiful either way. Now that won’t satiate the daughter, no,  no. What the daughter will expect her mother to do is go with her to the shopping mall so she could buy for her the beautiful purse, the shoes or that dress that she wants so much so that they don’t look down on her at school. She will do this the next three times and if the same thing happens with the mother, she will be infuriated that she won’t come back to the mother the next time the teasing happens. She will instead go to her room, get her “most treasured friend”, the diary, and write down what she is feeling at that moment. She will write about how she is mad at the parents, at the fellow students in her class and how much she hates her school. That’s when the parent starts to see the change in their daughter’s behavior, how she does not confide in her mother anymore, how she does not share what’s bothering her anymore and how she treats everything around her.

Now parents would be wondering what to do in such a case. Here is little tip, READ THEIR DIARIES. And here is how you know that your teenage daughter wants you, the parent, to read their diaries. (I’m referring to mothers here because a father won’t understand a thing I the diary. Will tell you why later). You will notice how she leaves it in your vicinity for example, on her bed.  She knows that you go to her room every day to get the dirty clothes for laundry or even to organize her closet. Then also, you find it under her pillow. It’s simple, you just go ahead and read it. Even that’s not reason enough, then the words, PERSONAL DIARY OF SO AND SO, scream loudly, READ ME. I know you are saying you can’t get into your daughter’s private things. And yes, she will eat you head off (I mean metaphorically) when she finds out you read her diary. But here is the thing, once you get to talk about all that and you understand each other, you both will feel a load lighter, and you will get to know that they are not actually mad at their fellow students at school, or that they hate the school itself or the teachers in it but that they are actually mad at you the parent because you are the one that took them to that school in the first place.

For fathers, don’t dare read your daughter’s diary. First of all you will not like the kind of language she is using for writing. Then you will not like the mention of a certain boy in her class and how much she likes the guy. Also because the fact is, you don’t know any girly thing that could possibly help you to solve whatever is going on in your daughter’s life. The solution is, when you find your daughter’s diary, take it to her mother or if you are a single father, take it to someone she is close to, like a favorite teacher, an aunt whom she talks to easily and shares her deepest darkest secrets with or even a grandmother. Trust me, you will have it easier with your daughter then, than having her mad at you for all her lifetime. But this doesn’t mean that you leave the teacher, the aunt or the grandmother to deal with your daughter’s emotional ups and downs. You have to get involved by talking to whomever you gave the diary and finding a way to talk to your daughter without revealing much about the diary.